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January 08, 2009

Pole Problems

What a disaster!

So I decided that in order to kick start my career in the porn business, I'd start practicing sexual movements using the all famous pole-dance routine. I gyrated and twirled around the pole (which was placed inside my personal bathroom to avoid awkward moments with my parents). I realised that the reason why I looked like a fucked up skank who's bulimic is because I'm a pole myself. I mean, what the hell happened to my tits? Where the fuck is my ass? Guys would not want to fuck a pole; they want something that they can hold, grab, rub, pull, push and rotate to.

Obviously the pole wont help with my physical situation. So I called up the people who sold me the pole and requested that they take it back; and I want a refund. The bastards have the audacity to tell me that the warranty for the pole has expired. I told them I only used it that one time. According to them, the warranty expires the moment I placed any body parts on the pole; hygiene purposes. Hygiene purposes my ass!!!!

Out of anger, I tried to yank out the damn pole so I can shove it up their asses. But ended up with a broken mirror on top of a caved in ceiling. Had to fork out more than the cost of the pole.

What a fucked up disaster!

*Note: this blog is in no way, shape, form or position dissing any porn-stars out there. Pls be gentle.

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