Dealing With Dildos: The Aftermath

It's been a while. And I've been experimenting. And here's my conclusion: never use a dildo while doing your laundry. I don't know how it happened but it did. I broke the damn thing. And it got stuck inside me for days, rumbling away cos it was still set to the full power setting. I was having a great time walking from my home to my work place with constant orgasms (even though people thought I was constantly having fits or something) but the whole novelty of having a dildo stuck inside you for days wears off, especially when the battery dies. And then it becomes a nuisance. I cant even sit properly. So I decided to go to the doctors to have it removed. I never thought having a dildo removed could be so.... interesting.

It was a rush, a rush of orgasm as the doctor gently pulls it out and I had the most earth-shattering orgasm of my life and I squirted all over the doctor. I thought the doctor would have been happy about it but alas, it wasn't so. Another doctor came inside the room while I was having my orgasm and he wasn't happy that I 'poured myself' onto his lover and catching his lover actually enjoying it. The other doctor gave my doctor an evil eye which prompted my doctor to look sheepish and guilty. I quickly apologised to the both of them; not wanting to get in the middle of a gay quarrel (it tends to get nastily slappy, or so I was told). I got up, got dressed and got home.

How was I supposed to know that youre supposed to take the damn dildo out once youre done?? I thought it was created to be the ultimate orgasm companion but no, its a temporary one, just like the real thing. Oh well, I got home with a bagful of new toys for me to play with.

Next up: rubbing oil.

*Note: this blog is in no way, shape, form or position dissing any porn-stars out there. Pls be gentle.